Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified neurosurgeon. I can break into people’s heads and rewire their brains and tamper with their memory, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
“Hey, buy me this thing”
“waIT NO I WAS KIDDING PLEASE DON’T OH MY GOD I CAN’T ACCEPT THIS STOP BEING SO NICE DON’T YOU DARE GET ME THIS THING I ASKED FOR I SWEAR TO GOD”
"Here, I bought you the thing"
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO I CAN’T ACCEPT THIS"
"just take it"
"I CAN’T-if you insist oK THANK YOU VERY MUCH"